Brendan with his younger sister Bella.
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For the love of Brendan
Parenting a child with a disability can present enormous challenges. Not just occasionally, but every day around the clock. For Brendan Eliott, the much-loved son of Maria and stepdad Ray Hart, and siblings Scott and Bella, the family constantly do everything they can to ensure he lives his best life.
The Eliott family, Ray and Maria Hart with Brendan and sister Bella.
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Brendan was born in 1991. Around the age of six months after a visit to the local health centre, it was found that Brendan hadn’t reached some of the milestones important for a child of his age.
After undergoing numerous tests, visits to various health professionals and paediatricians at the Children’s Hospital, a diagnosis of Global Developmental Delay was reached. This is generally considered an umbrella term referring to when a child appears significantly delayed in one or more areas of their development. Their motor skills, speech, cognitive skills, social and emotional development are looked at. Generally, a specific condition causes developmental delay such as cerebral palsy, however it can sometimes be difficult to identify the individual’s underlying condition.
Brendan today is aged 33 and life is busy! He lives at home with Maria, Ray and Bella, 19, his very favourite person in the world and younger sister. His face lights up the moment he sees her and while Brendan is non-verbal, it’s times such as this that a smile tells the real story.
Brendan is confined to a wheelchair and requires 24-hour care, yet loves to get out and about with his friends and supports at PALS (Providing All Living Supports), based in Cobram, open Monday to Friday from 9am until 3pm.
Each night during the week Brendan sleeps well after being bathed and readied for bed by Ray, requiring a good sleep after quite a day of activities. However, he begins to stir during the early hours and his devoted stepdad generally gets up to re-settle him as he becomes restless, yet most often will sleep for a further hour or two. Ray is the first one up in the morning and immediately attends to Brendan’s physical needs and dresses him for the day around 6am-6.30am. Ray and Brendan then share breakfast, which is usually Vita Brits and soy milk, while Maria packs the nourishing lunch she has prepared for him to take to PALS. All food must be soft and finely chopped to ensure he won’t choke, so dishes such as lasagne, spaghetti and vegetables are enticing and well-prepared by Mum.
It's Maria’s role to groom her handsome son before he heads off for his day at PALS with a shave, a face wash, teeth cleaning and a brush of his hair. Brendan’s favourite taxi driver, Harold, then collects him at the front door and delivers him home again in the afternoon.
Brendan requires the help of a carer during his daily activities and seems to enjoy the company of his fellow participants at PALS. He also attends RDA (Riding for the Disabled) fortnightly at the Cobram Showgrounds in what is his favourite activity — and one which brings the biggest smile! He has been attending now for a record 28 years, and it seems to provide a sense of peace and achievement as he sits astride one of the beautifully quiet, sensitive horses.
Brendan astride a horse at the Cobram Showgrounds.
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Brendan also enjoys hydrotherapy in Shepparton and appears to love the water. It gives him freedom, and he uses the pool noodle to help stay afloat.
“He is very social and likes to be involved with the group. We actually think he understands more than we give him credit for,” agree Maria and Ray.
He appears to love AFL football on television and, while he is unable to walk, sits on the floor and moves around the lounge with excitement. He doesn’t cope well with loud noises and can become very anxious in a large crowd and cry if he hears loudspeakers. The family packs a set of headphones if they’re taking Brendan out to ensure he does not become upset if confronted with loud noise.
His loving family has experienced years of 24-hour care for Brendan, firstly as a toddler, then a student at Cobram Specialist School until he turned 18, when he became a client at PALS. Life has always been challenging to find help for him, as both parents need to work full-time. Maria is a careers adviser at Cobram Secondary College, while Ray is IT manager at the school and generally begins his day quite early.
The introduction of the NDIS, in which each participant on the books has a plan catering to their particular needs, has been of great benefit to the family.
“We now receive quite a lot of assistance with Brendan which previously was not available and enables him to have four weeks of respite. He is also eligible for in-home care and throughout the day at PALS,” Maria said.
“We are grateful for the help from the NDIS but never certain when there will be changes made however, which is always a concern,” she added.
Brendan has had respite at Gorman House in Yarrawonga and also Aruma Disability Services in Shepparton, and while he’s not terribly happy away from the familiarity of home, he seems to settle down. It also offers a brief respite for his family.
“We are lucky with him, although he cannot talk he still has a cheeky personality and is generally happy,” Maria said.
Brendan is quite a popular personality in the Cobram community, often out and about with family or his carers, enjoying being around those he is familiar with. If you happen to be one of the lucky ones he beams a smile at, then you know you are accepted as a friend!
