The recent rally against gender-based violence held in Federation Park, Cobram, was organised by a young group of teachers, social workers and council employees.
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Some of whom have lived experience of family violence.
Young women were predominant in the peaceful crowd of more than 100, which included a small number of men.
There were several amazing speakers who bravely told of their experiences and encouraged the crowd to report if they saw something, or knew something was not right, to please tell somebody because it could save a life.
A speaker at the rally, Cobram resident Ash Ladgrove, has lived with the devastation caused by her violent stepfather, who molested her when she was only seven years old.
Ash lived with her mother and stepfather from the age of two, had nine siblings and was to become regularly abused by her stepfather, who threatened her not to tell anyone.
“The thing that stands out to me from that first incident is that I was not scared,” Ash said.
“Looking back, he had groomed me well and my mind was so young and innocent that I did not comprehend what happened.
“Even if I wanted to, I did not have the language skills to communicate what happened and the abuse became so frequent that I don’t remember a time it didn’t occur. Nowhere was safe when he was around.”
At the age of 14, Ash moved out of the family home to live elsewhere and looked after herself until she was 15.
She battled with drugs and alcohol, and after failing a school subject for the first time she contacted her biological father who lived in Perth, and he booked her on a plane within two days.
“My dad thought my stepdad was a great guy and believed he would have looked after me,” Ash said.
Ash finished secondary school in Perth, then returned to Cobram to live with her nan; however, drugs and alcohol continued to be an issue as she tried to mask her years of trauma.
A friend began to visit the Youth Centre at the Uniting Church and took Ash along, where she met a social worker to whom she told her entire story.
“I believe you, Ash,” the social worker said.
Ash said that was a defining moment for her.
“I told my mum, who struggled with everything I told her, owing to her complex personality, and then I went to the police,” she said.
At the age of 18, Ash went to court and her stepfather was found guilty of numerous charges, including incest by a parent, indecent act with a child under 16 and sexual penetration of a child under 16 years of age.
A manipulative and cunning man, he pleaded guilty to all charges and was sentenced in the Shepparton County Court on April 23, 2010 to serve 12 and a half years.
Ash met her future husband, Luke, later that year and life totally changed for her as the pair headed for Perth to look at job opportunities in the mining industry.
“Life seemed so normal, yet I fell into a deep depression,” Ash said.
“I was afraid of the quiet life I was leading, and it took its toll on our relationship, and we separated for a while.
“We did get back together again sometime later, and I began a degree in psychology, after completing cert four in residential care.
“However, my lecturer in psychology told me that because I appear to question everything, perhaps I would be better suited to social work, so I dropped out after two years.”
Ash, however, was not one to give up.
She married the love of her life, Luke, in 2019 and today the couple have two beautiful children, Zoe and Saxon.
During this time, Ash also studied online and qualified with a degree in social work.
In 2021, the family moved back to Cobram to enable Ash to see more of her siblings.
“The effects of abuse and trauma remain present in our family today,” she said.
“All my siblings have experienced declines in mental health at different points in their lives as I have, particularly when our mum died from suicide two years ago.
“These are lasting effects of trauma that often are not discussed.”
In late 2021, Ash began work with Wellways as a counsellor, working with Moira Shire Council.
“I really enjoy being able to help people, and we always had a full case load and our groups and workshops were always full,” she said.
“But funding ended in June.”
Ash has considered numerous job offers but she and Luke, who operates a successful business, have decided to put the focus on their family, and with the purchase of a large caravan, will complete a full lap of Australia, with Ash home-schooling two excited children over the next 12 months.
“I would love a short contract in central Australia, but Luke just wants a rest. He has certainly earned it,” she said.
Ash Ladgrove is a strong amazing woman who has overcome the most horrific of crimes at the hands of a sick and twisted man, but she is not allowing this to change who she is and remains determined to make her life count.
With her degree in social work, together with her horrific experience, she is equipped to help others overcome the past and look forward.
This year, Ash became involved in rallies against gender-based violence being held around the country.
She spoke of her own traumatic early life at a rally in Wangaratta in April and of the life-long effect domestic violence has on victims.
Several Wangaratta organisers attended the rally in Cobram, including sisters Shantelle Van der Leeuw and Jasmine Adams.
There is strength in unity, and volunteer organisers are determined to ensure their children and grandchildren do not go through what they have and will fight against all forms of violence and advocate for stronger laws and regulations to ensure young girls and women will never know a life of violence.
If you need help, you can contact:
1800 RESPECT: 1800 737 732
Lifeline: call 131 114 or visit lifeline.org.au
Beyondblue: call 1300 22 4636 or visit beyondblue.org.au
Kids Helpline: call 1800 55 1800 or visit kidshelpline.com.au
Headspace: call 1800 650 890 or visit headspace.org.au
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